As we go through life, we experience all kinds of friendships, which shape us in new and profound ways. After all, God designed us for friendships: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Unfortunately, not all friendships are created equal. The Bible warns us: “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character'” (1 Corinthians 15:33). As Christians, we must choose our friends wisely. Godly friendships should lift us up and help us stand firm in our faith. In this article, we’ll explore the top ten qualities that every Christian friendship should embody.

 

 

Why Are Godly Friendships Important?

Have you ever heard this common saying? “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” There’s something to glean from this phrase. More often than not, our choice of friends significantly impacts our lives, so we must be careful with who we spend time with. Godly friendships are a gift and they play a crucial role in supporting our relationship with God, as well as the beautiful journey he’s intended for us to follow. Unfortunately, the wrong type of friends can lead us to compromise on our values, which results in us straying from what God’s got in store for us. Godly friendships are built on love, compassion, and a desire to grow together in faith.

 

How Do You Know if a Friendship is From God?

A godly friendship should have a positive influence on our lives, encouraging us to live by our faith. These types of friendships will also bear the fruits of the Spirit, such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

 

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What Are Examples of Godly Friendships in the Bible?

Jesus and John

John is often referred to as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” He shared a close relationship with Jesus as one of His disciples. Jesus entrusted John with the care of His mother, Mary, as He hung on the cross.

Ruth and Naomi

After the deaths of both of their husbands, Ruth lovingly and loyally stayed with Naomi. Ruth said to Naomi, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16. Ruth supported Naomi in practical ways, such as gleaning the fields to provide for both of them, and Naomi gave love, guidance, and wisdom to Ruth in return.

David and Jonathan

Jonathan, the son of King Saul, always recognized David’s God-given anointing as the future king of Israel. He demonstrated unwavering loyalty to David, warned David of his father Saul’s ill intentions, and even helped him escape harm. Despite their differing family loyalties, David and Jonathan supported each other.

 

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10 Qualities of Godly Friendships

1. They share your faith

It can be hard to walk in our faith alone. The Bible warns us: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). While we can love, enjoy, and support our non-believing friends, it is equally important to have a community of believers, who we can share our walk with. Christian friends are equipped to support us on our walk with God, encouraging us and uplifting us in all that we do together, whether we’re hanging out, studying the Bible together, or encouraging each other at church. While we can have deeply fulfilling relationships with our non-Christian friends, we also need to honor our need for authentic Christian friendships.

Scripture:

• “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14, NIV)

 

2. They speak words of encouragement

An encouraging friend is a lighthouse in a storm. They guide us, encourage us, and help us maintain our life’s course by reminding us of our worth and potential. On the flip side, a bad friend can drag us down, and even drown us. They may lead with negativity, gossip, unkind words, and hurtful comments. Over time, this type of friendship will cause us to lose our inner compass (our connection with God), and in turn, stray off God’s most beautiful course for our lives.

Scripture:

• “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV)
• “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” (Proverbs 12:25, NIV)

3. They value accountability

True friends hold us accountable. Guidance (and even correction) is needed in godly friendships, especially if we find ourselves in unhealthy situations or seasons. In these times, a true friend protects us from heading down a destructive path. They’ll know when to gently and lovingly intervene. Be wary of the friends who never do! A friend who has your best interest at heart will always lovingly check in if they see something is amiss.

Scripture:

• “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” (Proverbs 27:6, NIV)
• “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.” (Galatians 6:1, NIV)

 

4. They pray for you

Prayer is powerful. When we seek God’s guidance and blessings for our friends, we strengthen our connection with them. You may be wondering: how do we pray for our friends? Well, you can start by praying for their spiritual growth, health, well-being, career choices, relationships, personal struggles, or transitions through major life changes. It doesn’t matter what you pray about, it only matters what your intentions are, and that you turn your requests to God to answer.

Scripture:

• “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.” (Matthew 18:19, NIV)
• “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” (Colossians 4:2, NIV)

 

 

5. They stay with you through life’s highs and lows

Godly friends are there for each other through thick and thin. A good friend will be there when you celebrate an achievement, or on the flip side, when you face a difficult time, such as a loss or a heartbreak. Godly friendship comes with unwavering support. In many ways, godly friendships resemble God’s unconditional love for us.

Scripture:

• “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15, NIV)
• “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2, NIV)

 

6. They show selflessness

When we put aside our interests, we learn to put our friends first. The focus is no longer on what we can gain, but on how we can contribute to the happiness and success of others. Selflessness mirrors the sacrificial love that Jesus taught us all.

Scripture:

• “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3, NIV)
• “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17, NIV)

 

7. They’re trustworthy

Trust is sacred. It involves keeping our friends’ secrets safe and also feeling safe to confide in our friends about our struggles.

Scripture:

• “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” (Proverbs 11:13, NIV)
• “Like a broken tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in a time of trouble.” (Proverbs 25:19, NIV)

 

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8. They’re a positive influence

Many of us wonder if our friends are having a positive impact on us. Well, we can discern this answer by asking the following questions:

• Do they show the fruits of the spirit?
• Do we feel encouraged and uplifted around them?
• Do they support our God-given dreams, goals, and path?
• Do they encourage us to be our true and authentic self, as God intended?

If the answer is yes, that is a good indicator you are surrounded by the right people.

Scripture:

• • “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.'” (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV)
  • “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” (Proverbs 13:20, NIV)

 

9. They unconditionally love you

Scripture:

• “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.” (Romans 13:8, NIV)
• “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4, NIV)

 

10. They grow with you

A sign of a good friend is if you grow separately without growing apart. Even better if your friend is a catalyst for your growth. After all, “iron sharpens iron,” and a good friend will bring out the best qualities in you over time (Proverbs 27:17 NIV).

Scripture:

• “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17, NIV)
• “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.” (2 Peter 3:18, NIV)

 

 

A Prayer for Godly Friendships

Dear God,

Every good thing comes from you, including the gift of awesome friendships. I thank You for the friendships You have already brought into my life, and for the love and support they provide me.

God, I seek Your guidance in nurturing my current friendships or bringing new friendships into my life. Help me discern the friends who share my faith, so that we can grow together in our relationship with You.

Help me be a true friend, one who gives love, trust, and selflessness. I pray for the strength to stand by my friends in times of trouble. I want to encourage and support them in their faith, and be a source of authentic love in their lives.

I give all of my friendships to You, trusting that You will bring the right people into my life at the right time. May my friendships reflect Your love and bring glory to Your name.

In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

 

Can I Pray For You?

Let me know what you’re praying for in the comments section. I’ll pray with you. I’m here to support you in any way I can. If you’re interested in reading more of my faith-based articles, head on over to the blog.

Love, Kim